He doesn't realize how lucky he is, he has no idea how much I envy him, he is the smartest and brightest individual I've ever met. His capacity for knowledge and learning is astounding. It bewilders me, we are related, we share DNA and yet I will never be as intelligent. I will never know how it feels to be considered "smart."
We both went to college, he went to an illustrious private university, he was showered with academic grants and stayed in the prestigious scholars dorm surrounded by other academically superior kids.
I went to state college, no academic grants and no scholars dorm for me. I was a regular student, nothing special, just satisfactory.
We both graduated in 4 years, he was Summa Cum Laude and I wasn't. He went to Medical school soon after graduation, I didn't. He was smart enough to get into a American medical school. I was laid off from my first job. He got accepted into the M.D/MBA program. I spent 11 months on my parents couch looking for work.
Do you see what I am doing here? I am trying to paint you a picture of the reality of my life in comparison to my older brother.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
My Love Does Cost A Thing
The song, "Love Don't Cost A Thing" did a grave disservice to women. Specifically women who were teenagers around the time of its release. It made us believe that money is not an important part of a relationship, "even if you were broke, my love don't cost a thing."
I remember singing the song at the top of my lungs sitting in my best friends silver Hyundai Elantra. I remember thinking JLo's words were the gospel truth. I couldn't wait to meet a man and love him with our without the bling.
That was then, this is now, after following Jen's advice I have learned something incredibly important, my love does in fact cost a thing, it cost a lot of things. And if you are broke then don't waste my time. I don't think this makes me a money hungry gold digger, bc I don't date men solely for financial gains. I like to date guys who are at the same caliber as I am and can afford me. I am not into struggling artists who think that going to subway is a good first date.
I expect to be wined and dined and in return I will do those things for you. We should be able to match each others expectations. I am not into the flowery whimsical notion of love, love can't survive solely on love - so much more is involved.
So Jen, I am sorry, Money is absolutely integral in relationships.
I remember singing the song at the top of my lungs sitting in my best friends silver Hyundai Elantra. I remember thinking JLo's words were the gospel truth. I couldn't wait to meet a man and love him with our without the bling.
That was then, this is now, after following Jen's advice I have learned something incredibly important, my love does in fact cost a thing, it cost a lot of things. And if you are broke then don't waste my time. I don't think this makes me a money hungry gold digger, bc I don't date men solely for financial gains. I like to date guys who are at the same caliber as I am and can afford me. I am not into struggling artists who think that going to subway is a good first date.
I expect to be wined and dined and in return I will do those things for you. We should be able to match each others expectations. I am not into the flowery whimsical notion of love, love can't survive solely on love - so much more is involved.
So Jen, I am sorry, Money is absolutely integral in relationships.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Let's never get married
I read this article today, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html
Basically, it summarizes why women are single into 6 reasons. Yeah, 6 simple reasons why YOU aren't married, you loser.
my issue with this article is simple - Who asked you Tracy McMillan? Like, who are you? How can you claim that you are an expert on this topic? She say's she's been married 3 times. Wow, so if you are married more than once you are automatically an expert Ok well, lets hear what you have Tracy -
Reasons why you aren't married. Reason #1. You're a Bitch. - ha! I swear, if I hear this one more time. Just because I am not married I am a bitch. Duh! What other reason can there be. "Most men want to marry someone who is nice to them." Well, that seems easy enough, I can be nice. I can really nice. How about you, men of the world, stop being such arrogant dbags. Can you do that? Can you appreciate me? Can you not cheat on me? Can you send me flowers on Valentines day? Can you not take advantage of me? Probably not. You know what happens to nice women Tracy McMillan? They get shit on, they get shit on by the whole world. So excuse me for not being nice.
Reason #2 You're shallow. Yes, I am shallow. You know why - because I worked really damn hard to get where I am. I go to the gym. I work out with a trainer, I spend millions of dollars on clothes that accentuate my figure, I get my hair done, I get my nails done, I wax everything, everything. So sorry if I wont accept every loser who wants to grab at my goods. Fuck yeah, I am going to be shallow. AND DON'T tell me that men aren't shallow. Men are shallow as fuck.
Reason #3 You're a slut - Really? Really? I am not gonna go there.
Reason #4 You're a liar - Don't judge me Tracy. Everybody lies.
Reason #5 You're selfish . My issue with this is my issue with #2 - It's my life, my money, I will be as selfish as I please. I am not ready to make sacrifices. I want the fucking moon. Listen women of the world, don't sacrifice a thing. Just don't do it.
Reason #6 You're not good enough, I am not sure what she means here. Are you referring to yourself Tracy? Bc I am better than good, I am fucking awesome. Here is the thing, just bc you don't want to marry that loser who doesn't have a job or future doesn't mean that you are not good enough. Like seriously, I am not going to settle. I think that makes me SMART AS HELL. Do you think that I wanna get married so fucking bad that I am gonna marry the bartender and spend my whole life supporting him, being nice to him, sleeping with him, doing his laundry, cooking him dinner, picking up his socks from the floor bc he is a mess (all men are), and dealing with all his bullshit.
Frankly, if he cant even buy me the diamond I want (4 carats), why should I bother ? I am not being shallow, I am being real. This is real talk, its 2011, I don't need to get married - I am not interested in doing twice the fucking laundry for some loser.
So Tracy thanks but no thanks.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Almost Valentines Day
It's almost Valentines day.
The first time I had a real Valentine was when I was a freshmen in college. He was this guy, that I really really loved but for whatever reason we were playing the friend game. He sent me tons of flowers and a Shakespeare sonnet telegram I think.. I cant remember. It was so romantic and I was the envy of all the girls in my hall. I felt so special.
My 2nd Valentine was when I was a junior in college. We had been dating for a little over a month. We went to go see the Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore movie...Music and Lyrics I think it was called. Then I think we had dinner at some Italian restaurant, the details escape me. Overall, I think it was a good night.
My 3rd Valentine was with the same guy I shared my 2nd Valentine with, all I remember was that he bought me a Wii - it was a good Valentines day. I played Wii golf for months.
My 4th Valentines day I was alone. I cried most of the day then drank bubble tea and watched Lord Of The Rings.
My 5th Valentines day - well, that is on Monday and I'll let you know how it goes.
All these Valentines day stories surprise me because in all of them I was a spectator - all these things were happening to me. I didn't do much of anything, except for my 5th Valentine where I cried all day. I am not romantic, I love romance but I am not romantic. Are women supposed to be romantic? I've always thought that that's the guys job. All I have to do is show up in a sexy dress and you mister, are supposed to handle the rest of the evening.
The first time I had a real Valentine was when I was a freshmen in college. He was this guy, that I really really loved but for whatever reason we were playing the friend game. He sent me tons of flowers and a Shakespeare sonnet telegram I think.. I cant remember. It was so romantic and I was the envy of all the girls in my hall. I felt so special.
My 2nd Valentine was when I was a junior in college. We had been dating for a little over a month. We went to go see the Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore movie...Music and Lyrics I think it was called. Then I think we had dinner at some Italian restaurant, the details escape me. Overall, I think it was a good night.
My 3rd Valentine was with the same guy I shared my 2nd Valentine with, all I remember was that he bought me a Wii - it was a good Valentines day. I played Wii golf for months.
My 4th Valentines day I was alone. I cried most of the day then drank bubble tea and watched Lord Of The Rings.
My 5th Valentines day - well, that is on Monday and I'll let you know how it goes.
All these Valentines day stories surprise me because in all of them I was a spectator - all these things were happening to me. I didn't do much of anything, except for my 5th Valentine where I cried all day. I am not romantic, I love romance but I am not romantic. Are women supposed to be romantic? I've always thought that that's the guys job. All I have to do is show up in a sexy dress and you mister, are supposed to handle the rest of the evening.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Sipping Kool Aid
Like most Americans I did it, I went to college. Can I say like most Americans? Do most Americans go to college? Whatever, in my world they do. So like most Americans I went to college. I did it, I paid a ridiculous amount to learn things . I went to controlled environment far away from the nest to take a stab at individuality, growth and freedom. I can't say how much I learned and how it important it really is .. But all in all, I can attest that I did well. I did well in college. I studied and wrote papers and did readings. I have a plethora of over highlighted textbooks to prove it.
So here I am, almost three years later and I can safely say that I am not where I wanted to be. I am definitely NOT where I thought I'd be. A lot of this is because college does a terrible job managing expectations. At my commencement speech the speaker told us anecdotes of graduates before us being the new leaders of this country. He told us that we are the world. We are the future. We will shape tomorrow. We can do whatever we wish. Nothing is in our way. What A PIECE OF BULLSHIT. No one told me that when I graduated six months later, Id be laid off. Not because I lack talent (bc, I dont) but because the economy would collapse into the toilet. No one told me I'd be scrambling looking for a job as my six month grace period to all my student loans would end and that they would deny me unemployment deferment. So I'd be stuck paying tons of money in interest. No one told me that I'd lose my health insurance because once you turn 23 poof its gone, like it was never there ( I know, Obama did bring it back but I already have health insurance now, too little too late OB).
So basically NO ONE told me these things.
What I am saying now, the whole point of this entry really was that I am 24 years old, have a job, have health insurance, pay my bills BUT I feel unfulfilled - you know why? Because College did a terrible job at managing my expectations of what the future would be like. I thought I'd be a dot com millionaire by now, Id be sipping Kool Aid with Mark Zuck by now. I thought these things would happen. I thought my parents my would be proud by now. But here I am 24, unfulfilled.
So here I am, almost three years later and I can safely say that I am not where I wanted to be. I am definitely NOT where I thought I'd be. A lot of this is because college does a terrible job managing expectations. At my commencement speech the speaker told us anecdotes of graduates before us being the new leaders of this country. He told us that we are the world. We are the future. We will shape tomorrow. We can do whatever we wish. Nothing is in our way. What A PIECE OF BULLSHIT. No one told me that when I graduated six months later, Id be laid off. Not because I lack talent (bc, I dont) but because the economy would collapse into the toilet. No one told me I'd be scrambling looking for a job as my six month grace period to all my student loans would end and that they would deny me unemployment deferment. So I'd be stuck paying tons of money in interest. No one told me that I'd lose my health insurance because once you turn 23 poof its gone, like it was never there ( I know, Obama did bring it back but I already have health insurance now, too little too late OB).
So basically NO ONE told me these things.
What I am saying now, the whole point of this entry really was that I am 24 years old, have a job, have health insurance, pay my bills BUT I feel unfulfilled - you know why? Because College did a terrible job at managing my expectations of what the future would be like. I thought I'd be a dot com millionaire by now, Id be sipping Kool Aid with Mark Zuck by now. I thought these things would happen. I thought my parents my would be proud by now. But here I am 24, unfulfilled.
Monday, February 7, 2011
SUPER DUPER Bowl
so I am not a big football fan, I've tried to be but football isn't a sport that particular tickles my fancy. I do, however, enjoy the SUPER BOWL - for a few reason, firstly, I mean its called the SUPER BOWL - the word "super" conveys some degree of awesomeness that I would like to partake in.. Secondly, I enjoy the parties, the food - I think any excuse to veg out in front of the t.v with friends and beer is fantastic! and finally, because of the Ad's, I find it comforting that brands spend millions of dollars to get my attention for 30 secs. Makes me feel powerful. ROAR, I am a consumer hear me ROAR.
This years I thought the Ad's were LAME. Especially the car Ad's, none of them made me want to buy a Chevy. I mean, c'mon car companies, you have millions of dollars make a funny Ad. Secondly, I did not enjoy any of the Dorito's Ads which is said bc they usually do such a good job.
The only Ad that I LOVED was the Sketchers one with Kim K.
Yes, I agree it was a little risky business but isn't that the point? You just paid 100 million dollars for 10 seconds on T.V what are you gonna do? My first answer would be, get Kim in a tight outfit here ASAP. I thought it was witty they way it insinuated indecent things. I don't think I'll buy sketchers because of it, but it made me chuckle and I'll probably post it on my facebook page and share it on twitter and it'll probably be going viral soon enough. Which is what a brand wants. Now when people see sketchers they'll associated them with sweaty sexy Kim K. and that is a good label to have.
k, the end ciao
This years I thought the Ad's were LAME. Especially the car Ad's, none of them made me want to buy a Chevy. I mean, c'mon car companies, you have millions of dollars make a funny Ad. Secondly, I did not enjoy any of the Dorito's Ads which is said bc they usually do such a good job.
The only Ad that I LOVED was the Sketchers one with Kim K.
Yes, I agree it was a little risky business but isn't that the point? You just paid 100 million dollars for 10 seconds on T.V what are you gonna do? My first answer would be, get Kim in a tight outfit here ASAP. I thought it was witty they way it insinuated indecent things. I don't think I'll buy sketchers because of it, but it made me chuckle and I'll probably post it on my facebook page and share it on twitter and it'll probably be going viral soon enough. Which is what a brand wants. Now when people see sketchers they'll associated them with sweaty sexy Kim K. and that is a good label to have.
k, the end ciao
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
memories made in the coldest winter
You are not it, even though, I tried desperately to make you him. You are not him, you are nothing.
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