Wednesday, March 23, 2011
#Liar #Liar
There was once a girl who lied, a lot. it was a habit she picked up when she was rather young. Her first lie was to her grandmother, she was nine. She told her grandmother a sad story about a painting that hung in the family room. She had spun a tale so full of misery that her grandmother began to cry. That was the moment, that's when she knew she had a gift. The gift of fib. No one told her it wasn't okay. Later when her grandmother retold that story to the girls mother the whole family just chuckled about it. They all said, "What a imagine you have." What a imagine she had indeed. So she continued lying. Every word was a lie. She lied about everything. Soon she was a young woman and she no longer could separate her life from the beautiful lie she had told. But she didn't care. It didn't matter, she preferred the lie...
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Newer and Better
I saw this hilarious Best Buy commercial the other day,
Did you see this one? It's where people are buying the latest phone or computer only to be disappointed when seconds later a newer version releases. This is exactly how I feel, everyday of my life. I've been known to keep up with the latest trends in technology, because I love being the kid who has the newest coolest toys. Unfortunately, now that I am no longer living in the nest I have to rely on my own personal income to purchase these items. Here is where the problem arises, because I no longer have an endless pool of cash to go to buying these new toys requires me to save up for them. For example, I only recently purchased an iPad. I was so happy. I had saved and saved and saved and finally had enough to buy an iPad and then a week later the iPad two was announced. WTF!?!?! I can't catch a break!
Who are these people with this ridiculous amount of disposable income that can purchase these goodies as soon as they are released? Frankly if you have this much money just sitting around you should probably put it toward a better cause than an iPad..
Did you see this one? It's where people are buying the latest phone or computer only to be disappointed when seconds later a newer version releases. This is exactly how I feel, everyday of my life. I've been known to keep up with the latest trends in technology, because I love being the kid who has the newest coolest toys. Unfortunately, now that I am no longer living in the nest I have to rely on my own personal income to purchase these items. Here is where the problem arises, because I no longer have an endless pool of cash to go to buying these new toys requires me to save up for them. For example, I only recently purchased an iPad. I was so happy. I had saved and saved and saved and finally had enough to buy an iPad and then a week later the iPad two was announced. WTF!?!?! I can't catch a break!
Who are these people with this ridiculous amount of disposable income that can purchase these goodies as soon as they are released? Frankly if you have this much money just sitting around you should probably put it toward a better cause than an iPad..
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Internet Etiquette
I've been meaning to write this entry for a while now but I haven't been able to pin down the exact rules to how people should interact on the internet. I think I have a few of the rules down so I'll share them with you, but remember just like internet and technology in general these rules can and most probably will change with the next new thing.
Ok for starters Email Etiquette,
Email has revolutionized the way people interact with each other. Gone are the days of the letter and postage. Now we can immediately reach out to someone just by clicking send. But with great power comes great responsibility -
In your professional life chances are you will use email a lot. It's the fastest and easiest way to communicate with your colleagues and clients. What people need to remember is that most Americans who work in a corporate environment are out of work by 6:30 PM - 7 PM and sending them an email after that is useless. Would you call a professional contact at 4 am? No. Then why is it ok to email them? Unless it is something super urgent - emailing after 10 PM is inappropriate. If you really need that person to see your email FIRST thing in the morning then write the email and set a timer so that it will send at 8 AM, yes you can do that. Some people think that sending an email at a bizarre hour of the night is ok because the person won't see it until they get to work. To those people I ask, are you stupid? Everyone has a smartphone. Everyone. My blackberry buzzes and lights up every time I get an email, I'll see your email at 4 am and think, what a jerk - this person has no respect for me or my time.
Bosses of the world - don't email your employees at 4 am. They'll hate you.
Long emails are just the same as getting a homework assignment. I am not in grade school anymore and if you want to get my attention - DO NOT send me a long email. Sending long emails is unnecessary there is nothing that cannot be summed up in 6 sentences. If you need to convey something that is longer than 6 sentences - PICK UP THE PHONE.
Email signatures are a way of giving more information about yourself so that people can see your title and contact info. They are not an opportunity for you to unleash your artistic passion. DO NOT make your email signature colorful. If your company requires you to use only green or grey in your signature then do it but do not make every line a different color. The only thing a colorful signature shows about you is that you are loser who has nothing better to do with your time. Additionally don't have a tediously long email signature. Your signature should consist of - Your Name, Your Title, Your #, Email, Your Company Name and website. Don't add stupid additional facts, no one cares. Don't add quotes to the bottom of your email. It doesn't inspire anyone.
Ok that is all I have so far for Email Etiquette . Next time I'll add Social Media Etiquette. I leave you with this. Calling All College Students - TAKE DOWN YOUR STUPID DRINKING PICTURES.
CIAO
Ok for starters Email Etiquette,
Email has revolutionized the way people interact with each other. Gone are the days of the letter and postage. Now we can immediately reach out to someone just by clicking send. But with great power comes great responsibility -
In your professional life chances are you will use email a lot. It's the fastest and easiest way to communicate with your colleagues and clients. What people need to remember is that most Americans who work in a corporate environment are out of work by 6:30 PM - 7 PM and sending them an email after that is useless. Would you call a professional contact at 4 am? No. Then why is it ok to email them? Unless it is something super urgent - emailing after 10 PM is inappropriate. If you really need that person to see your email FIRST thing in the morning then write the email and set a timer so that it will send at 8 AM, yes you can do that. Some people think that sending an email at a bizarre hour of the night is ok because the person won't see it until they get to work. To those people I ask, are you stupid? Everyone has a smartphone. Everyone. My blackberry buzzes and lights up every time I get an email, I'll see your email at 4 am and think, what a jerk - this person has no respect for me or my time.
Bosses of the world - don't email your employees at 4 am. They'll hate you.
Long emails are just the same as getting a homework assignment. I am not in grade school anymore and if you want to get my attention - DO NOT send me a long email. Sending long emails is unnecessary there is nothing that cannot be summed up in 6 sentences. If you need to convey something that is longer than 6 sentences - PICK UP THE PHONE.
Email signatures are a way of giving more information about yourself so that people can see your title and contact info. They are not an opportunity for you to unleash your artistic passion. DO NOT make your email signature colorful. If your company requires you to use only green or grey in your signature then do it but do not make every line a different color. The only thing a colorful signature shows about you is that you are loser who has nothing better to do with your time. Additionally don't have a tediously long email signature. Your signature should consist of - Your Name, Your Title, Your #, Email, Your Company Name and website. Don't add stupid additional facts, no one cares. Don't add quotes to the bottom of your email. It doesn't inspire anyone.
Ok that is all I have so far for Email Etiquette . Next time I'll add Social Media Etiquette. I leave you with this. Calling All College Students - TAKE DOWN YOUR STUPID DRINKING PICTURES.
CIAO
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Your one and only
So you've found her. The one. Your one and only.
Congratulations to you and your happiness.
Hope she's everything that I never was for you, to you.
Can't say that I wish you the best.
Because it was never over for me.
Congratulations to you and your happiness.
Hope she's everything that I never was for you, to you.
Can't say that I wish you the best.
Because it was never over for me.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Comparitive
He doesn't realize how lucky he is, he has no idea how much I envy him, he is the smartest and brightest individual I've ever met. His capacity for knowledge and learning is astounding. It bewilders me, we are related, we share DNA and yet I will never be as intelligent. I will never know how it feels to be considered "smart."
We both went to college, he went to an illustrious private university, he was showered with academic grants and stayed in the prestigious scholars dorm surrounded by other academically superior kids.
I went to state college, no academic grants and no scholars dorm for me. I was a regular student, nothing special, just satisfactory.
We both graduated in 4 years, he was Summa Cum Laude and I wasn't. He went to Medical school soon after graduation, I didn't. He was smart enough to get into a American medical school. I was laid off from my first job. He got accepted into the M.D/MBA program. I spent 11 months on my parents couch looking for work.
Do you see what I am doing here? I am trying to paint you a picture of the reality of my life in comparison to my older brother.
We both went to college, he went to an illustrious private university, he was showered with academic grants and stayed in the prestigious scholars dorm surrounded by other academically superior kids.
I went to state college, no academic grants and no scholars dorm for me. I was a regular student, nothing special, just satisfactory.
We both graduated in 4 years, he was Summa Cum Laude and I wasn't. He went to Medical school soon after graduation, I didn't. He was smart enough to get into a American medical school. I was laid off from my first job. He got accepted into the M.D/MBA program. I spent 11 months on my parents couch looking for work.
Do you see what I am doing here? I am trying to paint you a picture of the reality of my life in comparison to my older brother.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
My Love Does Cost A Thing
The song, "Love Don't Cost A Thing" did a grave disservice to women. Specifically women who were teenagers around the time of its release. It made us believe that money is not an important part of a relationship, "even if you were broke, my love don't cost a thing."
I remember singing the song at the top of my lungs sitting in my best friends silver Hyundai Elantra. I remember thinking JLo's words were the gospel truth. I couldn't wait to meet a man and love him with our without the bling.
That was then, this is now, after following Jen's advice I have learned something incredibly important, my love does in fact cost a thing, it cost a lot of things. And if you are broke then don't waste my time. I don't think this makes me a money hungry gold digger, bc I don't date men solely for financial gains. I like to date guys who are at the same caliber as I am and can afford me. I am not into struggling artists who think that going to subway is a good first date.
I expect to be wined and dined and in return I will do those things for you. We should be able to match each others expectations. I am not into the flowery whimsical notion of love, love can't survive solely on love - so much more is involved.
So Jen, I am sorry, Money is absolutely integral in relationships.
I remember singing the song at the top of my lungs sitting in my best friends silver Hyundai Elantra. I remember thinking JLo's words were the gospel truth. I couldn't wait to meet a man and love him with our without the bling.
That was then, this is now, after following Jen's advice I have learned something incredibly important, my love does in fact cost a thing, it cost a lot of things. And if you are broke then don't waste my time. I don't think this makes me a money hungry gold digger, bc I don't date men solely for financial gains. I like to date guys who are at the same caliber as I am and can afford me. I am not into struggling artists who think that going to subway is a good first date.
I expect to be wined and dined and in return I will do those things for you. We should be able to match each others expectations. I am not into the flowery whimsical notion of love, love can't survive solely on love - so much more is involved.
So Jen, I am sorry, Money is absolutely integral in relationships.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Let's never get married
I read this article today, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html
Basically, it summarizes why women are single into 6 reasons. Yeah, 6 simple reasons why YOU aren't married, you loser.
my issue with this article is simple - Who asked you Tracy McMillan? Like, who are you? How can you claim that you are an expert on this topic? She say's she's been married 3 times. Wow, so if you are married more than once you are automatically an expert Ok well, lets hear what you have Tracy -
Reasons why you aren't married. Reason #1. You're a Bitch. - ha! I swear, if I hear this one more time. Just because I am not married I am a bitch. Duh! What other reason can there be. "Most men want to marry someone who is nice to them." Well, that seems easy enough, I can be nice. I can really nice. How about you, men of the world, stop being such arrogant dbags. Can you do that? Can you appreciate me? Can you not cheat on me? Can you send me flowers on Valentines day? Can you not take advantage of me? Probably not. You know what happens to nice women Tracy McMillan? They get shit on, they get shit on by the whole world. So excuse me for not being nice.
Reason #2 You're shallow. Yes, I am shallow. You know why - because I worked really damn hard to get where I am. I go to the gym. I work out with a trainer, I spend millions of dollars on clothes that accentuate my figure, I get my hair done, I get my nails done, I wax everything, everything. So sorry if I wont accept every loser who wants to grab at my goods. Fuck yeah, I am going to be shallow. AND DON'T tell me that men aren't shallow. Men are shallow as fuck.
Reason #3 You're a slut - Really? Really? I am not gonna go there.
Reason #4 You're a liar - Don't judge me Tracy. Everybody lies.
Reason #5 You're selfish . My issue with this is my issue with #2 - It's my life, my money, I will be as selfish as I please. I am not ready to make sacrifices. I want the fucking moon. Listen women of the world, don't sacrifice a thing. Just don't do it.
Reason #6 You're not good enough, I am not sure what she means here. Are you referring to yourself Tracy? Bc I am better than good, I am fucking awesome. Here is the thing, just bc you don't want to marry that loser who doesn't have a job or future doesn't mean that you are not good enough. Like seriously, I am not going to settle. I think that makes me SMART AS HELL. Do you think that I wanna get married so fucking bad that I am gonna marry the bartender and spend my whole life supporting him, being nice to him, sleeping with him, doing his laundry, cooking him dinner, picking up his socks from the floor bc he is a mess (all men are), and dealing with all his bullshit.
Frankly, if he cant even buy me the diamond I want (4 carats), why should I bother ? I am not being shallow, I am being real. This is real talk, its 2011, I don't need to get married - I am not interested in doing twice the fucking laundry for some loser.
So Tracy thanks but no thanks.
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