Happily Ever After...

I have tried desperately to make this blog about bigger things. To talk about the world, politics, homelessness, taxation without representation but I stay steady and strong for a few days and then my attention shifts to the same old issues...matters of the heart.

Here I am again losing sleep over a boy. It seems like a constant theme in my life..boys..and how they did me wrong. As I tossed and turned playing back my most recent relationship in my head I couldn't help but wonder, when will this stop? When will this end?

I used to think that when I found him, the one and we lived happily ever after all this would end. It would have to, thats part of the deal, the term "happily ever after," makes that claim. But now I have come to realize that there is no happily ever after, its a myth, its like Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy. It doesn't exist!

As long as you are breathing and are interested in having an intimate relationship with another person you can kiss your beauty sleep good bye. As long as you make someone a priority in your life, as long as you claim to love someone (other than your mother - actually, even your mother), as long as you let someone else effect you...you simply cannot have peace.

So what do you do? Should I be a hermit? Should I find a cabin in the woods and spend the rest of my days there ? God, I wish I knew the answer.

Confidence

What does confidence look like?

Is it the way she walks? head held high, back straight and strong firm steps.

Is it the way she dresses? polished, clean and conscious.

Is it how she speaks? Smart and thoughtful always getting her point across.

Or maybe it is the sum of all these things.

But do the people who see her know that it is all just an act. Inside she is scared, insecure and unsure of herself.

Sorry..

You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive, baby
You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

Things I am Done With

I feel as though I am starting a new chapter in my life, an exciting new chapter. In this chapter I'll do all of the things I was too afraid to do in chapters past. But before I start I need to let go of a few things.


Things I am Done With:

1.Pregnancy Shirts. So one day a designer woke up and decided it was cool to wear maternity clothing on the regular. Unfortunately everybody else on the planet thought this was a good idea as well. So for the last year and a half I've been wearing these shirts. Honestly, I am tired. I am tired of looking like the sugar plum fairy. I am not pregnant (Thank God) and I certainly should not be dressing for it. I wonder if the incidence of unplanned pregnancies has gone up in the last year because of this AWFUL trend. Women just had no idea they were pregnant bc they were dressing like this and didn't
notice how fat they had gotten.



2. Skinny Jeans. Ive tried to be a downtown hipster and squeeze my fat ass into these jeans. To my dismay I always end up looking like a freak show. Who thought of this? I want to punch that person...was it Kate Moss? This is definitely all her fault...she is the only person who can successful wear skinny jeans. I hate her. I refuse to get hooked on coke so I can wear these jeans. I am going back to regular ass jeans. Also, men should not wear skinny jeans. Just don't do it. Your future kids will thank me.



3. Bollywood. Slumdog was cool. A.R Rahman working with MIA and PCD was meh. But now Bollywood has gone to far... Just leave it in Mumbai and be happy with what you...Hollywood. We might not have the song and dance numbers but atleast our films are not 3 hours long. Listen, I am Indian I grew up with Bollywood but I do not like this fusion of Bollywood and Hollywood. I hate it. Stop wearing bindis and dancing to Jai Ho.


4. Reality shows. They had a good run. I really enjoyed Flavor of Love and I Love New York. But no one is even trying anymore. I mean have you seen NYC Prep...Honestly, I dont care for those spoiled kids..they are boring. Where is the entertainment? If I wanted to tune into high school drama that doesnt matter I'd hang with my baby sister. Not to mention that the whole cast is so unattractive. I mean on the Hills and Laguna the people were good looking. I dont wanna watch an hour of ugly rich kids whine about college applications. So I am done with Housewives, NYC Prep, most of Bravo's tv line up, Daisy of Love, More to Love, Bachelor/Bachelorette, all those shows where people dance or sing...time for scripted television.

The Fixer Upper

Recently in my single escapades I have come across a plethora of men who are wonderful except for a few things.
You know guys who are perfect but dress poorly
OR
A guy who is fantastic except he wears chunky jewelry
OR
A guy who is absolutely wonderful except he snorts whe he laughs


now these things may seem insignificant and you might be thinking "Aditi stop being so goddam picky." But I am not being picky. I dont want to be with someone whose one bad quality is the only quality I'll scrutinize.
But these qualities are easily fixed...which brings me to the title of this entry, The Fixer Upper.

Women do this sort of thing all the time, we meet a guy and we fix him to what we want. We change him. I for one praticed this in my last relationship. I fixed him up to my liking. Modified his wardrobe, fixed up his smile, and even his grammar.

But is this right?
Should we pass up on fixer uppers and just find guys who meet our criteria?
Maybe my fixer upper is another womans perfection?

I mean from experience I can tell you that after the relationship is over your fixer upper will revert back to his old ways. So are we doing the right thing by making these men change?

Maybe he likes to be poorly dressed. He thinks flannel is an excellent choice for a romantic dinner, leather can and should be worn all year round, and that just because the shirt doesnt fit him anymore doesnt mean he should stop wearing it.

Should I forgo the fixer uppers?

Looking

The air was thick when she exited the library. It was late, how late she didn't exactly know since she had broken her phone earlier that day. She had flung it to the ground in a fit of anger. A kind of anger that she had never felt before but was now living inside her, growing.

She wasn't sure where she was going after the library. Going home was not a priority or even an option. Something was different about tonight. Sitting down in her car she begin composing her thoughts and took a big sip of her ginger ale. The excitement of the last couple of days had left her stomach uneasy.

Suddenly she knew where she needed to be. She started her car and preceded without hesitation. She was going to the place where she had lost it all. Th one spot that she couldn't bear to to venture toward or even pass.

It was only fitting that to recover her lost identity she go to the place where it was last seen. Hoping that maybe it was still lying on the floor or crumbled up in the dirt. She continued..

"I am going to tell you the whole truth. Not half not a part of it, the whole damn truth. Its not going to be pleasant. Its going to unpleasant and awkward....maybe even unbearable depending on how strong your stomach is.

Sometimes I go on facebook and look through the profiles of guys I know through people. I look at there pictures and and walls. I like to get a nice sense of the kind of guys they are.

I find real gems every now and then. They seem so funny based on there status's and wall posts. I think damn, I could really like this guy. I am sure if I met him we would hit it off. I think I am his type.

Then I scroll through his photographs and see him with bunch of girls. They are all usually glitter eye shadow. I don't wear glitter shadow. Never have, I think its tacky.

Guess it would never work. hmph."